it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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