The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
