she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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