i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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