Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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