I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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