Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
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