I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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