the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
