ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
