break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
