So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
