Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I faked an abortion last night.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
