Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
