he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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