I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize