I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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