Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
