he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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