that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
