i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This is my life. Enjoy the view
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
