I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
