She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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