Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
