do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
