She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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