so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
