guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
