Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
