Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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