CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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