it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
