Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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