If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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