weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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