he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He has the fingertips of a God
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
