ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
