Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
