totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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