If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
