I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
