and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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