Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
