you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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