I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She told me I should be a condom model.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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