maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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