no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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