I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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