i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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