I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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