Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
