i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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