Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
