just come out here and I will go home with you...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
