Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
